Fatherhood is a daily adventure. One of my favorite moments of every day is coming home and seeing my son. I’ve noticed that I don’t think it’s one of Judah’s favorite moments, but I’m learning to get over it. Of course when Kelly comes home he shows off his speed by galloping to the door. Nothing personal right Judah?!
Being a first time father is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. I’m  never sure what’s coming next but I’m constantly feeling and thinking something. There are times when my stomach is in knots and other times when I wonder if this joy ride ever has to end. For the most part every day is a highlight reel in daddy-land.

I’ve been coming to some realizations lately regarding my little one.

• He might become a first-generation stay-at-home dad. The kid knows how to handle a small vacuum, ‘re-organize’ my dresser, and just this morning attempted to scrub the floor with a napkin.
• He may never grow hair in his Kalvig receding hairlines. All the more reason for Kelly and I to have an arranged marriage.
• He is going to test his teachers. I’m actually slightly concerned for his preschool teacher in a couple years. Judah is quite the charmer, and he’s already figuring out how to use it to try and get his way. He’s already fooled me a few times. Pretty sure my 15 month old has outwitted me as much as many of my 15 year old ministry students have.
• Even the youngest of kids are always listening. Judah still has a small vocabulary – about six or seven one syllable words. So when one day we heard him say “Ohh Yeah”, Kelly and I stopped dead in our tracks. Excuse me, just how did he discover this combo words? Didn’t have to look far. Apparently Kelly says it all the time. Go figure that neither of us realized she said this so often – until our son more or less pointed it out. As you can imagine I’m being much more careful on what I allow Judah to hear. Completely ruled out all country music.
• Lastly, I’m starting to realize that Judah is not my own. He is the Lord’s. I’m most delighted in being his father – there is much joy that comes with the responsibility. I’m almost like his John the Baptist, preparing the way. Becoming more aware of my role in Judah’s life helps me to raise him in the way of salvation. Not that he is guaranteed salvation; rather in growing him in the knowledge of God that he will hopefully choose for himself to follow Christ. To put a picture to this final thought – recall the image from the Lion King of Mufasa raising young Simba towards heaven. “He’s yours God”.

So much happened in such a short hour. I’m at Lutheran Church of Hope celebrating the confirmation of my little sister Jenna. This one event created an intersection of reflective thoughts. In no particular order –

There’s a deep excitement for my sister. She has no more sermon notes to take. If you’ve never had to take sermon notes, then you have no idea just how strenuous that can be. However, that’s not where my excitement lies. This is the point where she begins to take control of her spiritual quest. In the Lutheran church, attendance is mandatory – until you become confirmed. Therefore as high school begins, the first sign of wheat and weeds is discovered (to borrow Jesus’ parable in Matthew 13). I’m prayerful that this will be a season of healthy growth for my sister and that she will prove herself faithful to God and the Church in these next few years. My hope and desire for her is from Philippians 2:12 – to work out her salvation with fear and trembling. Lord, let her not be drawn to believe she has ‘made it’ simply by being confirmed.

My sister’s confirmation was also very personal to me. It was fourteen years ago that I was confirmed in our local Lutheran church. Just as is the case now, as part of my confirmation, I wrote a short faith statement. Much went in to writing, editing, and completing this short paper, which centered on my personal understanding of God. The difficulty in this is that I had a distinct born-again experience of salvation my freshman year of college. Ever since I have contemplated my eternal standing as a youth. In particular I go back to eighth grade when the church decided it was time for me to confirm my faith (or what aspect of it I had). In some ways it felt as if the pastoral staff was saying “I Gotta Have Faith”. I must have repeated after one of the pastors, perhaps stating my “public profession of my faith”. Although I’ve since determined that repeating a pastors words makes me no more a Christian then repeating I Have a Dream makes me Martin Luther King Jr.
What I needed, to help make sense of my childhood faith, is to dig up that faith statement from 1996. My search came up successful and I now present you my 8^th grade confirmation letter. Now I’m calling you to assist me in giving feedback based only on what you know – that is it comes from an eighth grade boy from years ago. What is your natural reaction? Do you sense a proper understanding of forgiveness and salvation?
What has become clear to me, as I keep reading over my faith statement, is the importance of growing up in a church. Eighteen years of a foundation paved the way for my conversion in college.

So now I peek into the third intersecting road of my sister’s confirmation. I question whether a similar program is useful for junior high ministries in the E-Free Church. I am in no way saying someone else needs to at Valley or elsewhere. It is more of a hypothetical question. Should junior high students be trained in a similar way as the Lutheran church, with a more official “graduation” point of their faith, and into high school? Not necessarily saying I’m buying it, but could elicit some interesting points on both sides. As worthy of a consideration is whether the “confirming” of a kids faith should happen after high school rather than junior high – something that does fit within my scope of ministry. Would it sink in more if that were the case? Would churches who operate under confirmation see less drop-off from 8th grade into 9th grade? If ever there was a post where fifty people weighed in – I think this would be the one I would be most interested in receiving others’ perspectives. I’ve said enough – maybe too much – care to weigh in?

This past weekend my wife, son, and I went to Kansas City with our good friends. While there we got to spend time with a couple other whom I deeply enjoy. For the first time since high school, I was part of prom; indirectly. It just so happened that the local high school was having their prom in our hotel ballroom. I decided to sneak a picture with a few of the couples.

More importantly, I witnessed my favorite sports team, the Boston Red Sox lose, which now puts me at 0-3 watching them in person. What makes it worse is that those games were either played at the Royals or Twins – neither of which are known to dominate the MLB.

I was once again reminded of how fantastic GPS systems are. Particularly my lovely English woman, Tam Tam. She made Kansas City feel like candyland.

The most interesting part of the family roadtrip to Kansas City might have been coming home to a blue house. Well, more like a blue kitchen. And, when I say a blue kitchen, what I really mean is freshly painted sky blue walls in our kitchen and dining room. Let me give you some context. Since around the time we moved into our house (18 months ago) Kelly has been saying how she would like to change the color of the kitchen. Being the man that I am, her proposal made no sense to me, so my typical answer was “yeah, yeah babe, sounds good”. Ps – a guy typically says that when he either isn’t listening or doesn’t care. Don’t hate me for being honest.

I think my wife had seen enough dark red, so she made the move. I had a heads-up, I’ll give her that much. We even discussed what the color of the kitchen would be. The conversation went something like this: [Kelly} “I’m going to Lowe’s to buy paint, do you have any preference as to what color we paint it?” [Jon] “Nope. Whatever you decide. Your kitchen.”

That was approximately 75 hours prior to coming home to a blue house (or a light blue kitchen, whatever). It caught me by surprise. Looking at the rest of my house, you would have thought she’d be going with a tan, light brown, or forest green. Wrong. Blue. As I wish my wife the best in decorating it to match her choice in color, I’ve concluded that maybe it is time for me to brainstorm what color the man cave should be. By man cave I’m referring to the basement. By the basement I’m referring to the area of our house where we do laundry. So basically what I’m telling me is to sit back and be thankful I have a wife who so enjoys beautifying our home.
Good thing painting a kitchen is more like a haircut than a tattoo. You can change it whenever you want. Just let me believe my theory.

What a luxury it is to have so many family members live around town. Yes, that includes even the in-laws! There are a couple dozen family members residing in the 515. When you consider my wife and my families together, there is little diversity to speak of. With one exception – our church affiliation. First things first, I’m grateful that going to church is something my family values. We haven’t fallen far from the apple tree. Yet it intrigues me how scattered we are in our religious preferences. To my knowledge, between my relatives and I, we attend 6-7 churches in the area. Now that’s diverse city. I suppose I could be thankful that Christianity offers a wide range of worship experiences, doctrines, core principles, and denominations. Problem is these are typically the aspects of family gatherings we’ve chosen to avoid discussing. Maybe that’s starting to change. Just this last weekend I tried swaying my older sister to check out the E-Free Church in her hometown. That idea didn’t go very far, but it allowed me to see what my sister views as important in a church – in her case, having communion offered more regularly. I really enjoy dialoging about church with my family, as well as Scripture, beliefs, etc.
I envy Jesus’ time – when the whole branch of family would do church together. Of course you wouldn’t have found Bethlehem Baptist, Emmanuel Lutheran, Pharisee Presbyterian, or Church of the Open Torah, among other churches in the yellow pages. It’s rare these days to find extended families worshipping together. I mean, mine isn’t the only scattered family.
Maybe I’m taking a wrong view at this. Consider how in some world religions, you are “trapped” by that belief system. To deviate results in excommunication at the least, perhaps even death. I am not shunned in any family setting for attending the church I attend. Can you imagine being shunned by members of your family? I bet a few of you do.
This concern – of a diverse preference of church – makes me long for heaven. The utopia of faith and practice that takes place in heaven is reassuring. To know that I will one day be apart of One Church with all my believing relatives. Even if we’re singing out of hymnals; it’s going to be special.

I’d consider myself a recovering traditionalist – at least in regards to church. My childhood experience of church could best be explained by the word routine. I’m thankful that I was raised in the church. Yet it also left some bad tastes in my mouth. In my young mind, I interpreted these traditions as defining what a Christian life should look like. If you asked me at age eighteen to define prayer I would have said it was a precursor to eating a meal that started “God is great, God is good…”. The Lord’s Prayer – I could rattle it off in my sleep but didn’t know it was supposed to alter my lifestyle.

Fast forward to my Christian conversion in college and the following church experience in Pella. I had a strong distaste for tradition, and it affected every area of my life – not just church. There’s no question my philosophy of the Christian institution changed from that day forward. I’m a strong advocate of change – not to be politically cliché. * I read verses like Matthew 15:3 and Mark 7:9 and it fuels my desire to fight tradition in the church.

Until now I haven’t been able to divorce church tradition from life tradition. For years I’ve seen all forms of tradition as unhealthy. I’ll admit that is not good, particularly in regards to family. The dictionary defines tradition as ‘the handing down of statements, beliefs, customs, etc from generation to generation. The Kalvig clan has very little tradition built into the family. Perhaps I am part to blame for that, but as that reality sinks in it doesn’t sit well with me. Family traditions, if rooted well, can be very healthy for individuals and for families. One example, though questionably considered tradition, is my extended family spending the last three years hand making Christmas gifts to be given away at Christmas-time. I’m very proud of my elder family members for initiating this, and hope that it continues to the point of being passed down generations. Christmas is pretty patterned in our family, as the time we gather, the food we eat, and the service we attend continue from one year to the next. Yet that’s about the end of our tradition.

Now there is danger in desiring family tradition. That which God desires, and instructed both Israelites (OT) and Christians (NT) to follow, are those which build families together in the Lord. Remembering is vital and has its benefits. I just desire for them to be rooted in Christ, or at the very least God-honoring. But what are those? I’m at a loss.

Here is where I’m looking to others. Do you have any healthy family traditions? Let me know – and with that include the benefit those traditions have for you, or your family.

As the health of my grandparents is fading, I’ve started to realize the importance of established traditions. When they pass on, I want to have memories and perhaps objects that continue to remind me of the important role they played in my life. And someday when my time comes, I hope Kalvig family tradition gives my grandchildren a legacy to continue on.

What a couple weeks it has been for my #1 son. He’s had his ups and lately he’s had his downs. Even literally – I’ll explain soon.

Recently Judah has been mimicking his mom in burping all the time. Well, mimicking one of his parents anyways. Apparently he has already learned his first rule in the house: burping and farting is permitted at all times and in all places. You can just see the pleasure it gives him too. His smile which quickly follows demonstrates the relief my son gets when he lets one loose. I’m a proud dad.

Apparently Kelly has also been influencing Judah of late. In our house we have a handheld vacuum that is typically used on the kitchen floor. Lo and behold the other day I found Judah holding the little vacuum and making back and forth strokes just as his mom would. Let’s first acknowledge that my son is ten months old and with one hand can hold this vacuum – which must weight five pounds. Secondly, let’s also acknowledge that my son has now done more house chores than I have this week.
Both of these stories are big accomplishments. You be the judge of which I should be most proud of.

Then the week turned ugly. Judah came down with a virus. He’s miserable. Then he falls down – normal for him – but this time he puts his upper teeth into his lip creating an inch wide gash. Lots of blood. He’s more miserable. A couple days later he picks up a cough, followed by another tooth, and a questionable fifth ear infection. In other words, he’s even more miserable. If he’s going to be a UFC fighter, then I’d consider this early training. However, if for some bizarre turn of events he doesn’t become a UFC fighter, then my heart goes out to the kid.

Why is it that only our dirty laundry should be aired and not our clean clothes? I couldn’t help but think of my wife when I think about my clean laundry. I mean that both literally and figuratively. The woman is on top of my dirty laundry – again both literally and figuratively. Because I love this woman very much, I am dedicating this post to her. My wife of 5+ years. I went back to Proverbs 31 and noticed how much Kelly resembles this type of woman.

• A wife of noble character I can find. She embodies grace and goodness. I’ve seen no better example of someone who lives the fruits of the spirit than her.
• I love verse 11 – “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” It’s almost like he stole the words right out of my mouth. Entering parenting was a little bit of a shock for me, but I just rode on Kelly’s coattail. I have so much confidence in her parenting. Confidence in her ministry to young ladies. Confidence in her cooking!
• “She brings him good, not harm.” Kelly gives of herself to anyone who asks, or doesn’t ask. Yet she saves the best for me. Always wanting to spend time with me. She brings me the goods; I have no reason to complain. I trust this woman with my all.
• Kelly is busy in and out of the home. She is a hard worker – she cares so much for the pilates studio her and her sister run; hanging her pride on her ability to help people’s lives through physical exercise. And at home – she’s a champion. We’ve joked how when I’m home watching Judah I can be found playing with him or sitting on the couch. Kelly watches Judah while taking care of the house and her family. My wife doesn’t know how to stop. That is until she gets to her read time. I often ask her about her time in the Word, what Christian book she is reading, and if she’s taking time to be still. Now, we both struggle with being still, but she is quick to share with me her readings. I’m encouraged by her walk with the Lord!
• Proverbs 31 continues to tell of a woman clothed with strength and dignity and the ability to laugh her way through life. These are the things I’ve seen grow in Kelly since we’ve been married. She is strong, though not rugged. She knows how to stand up for herself now and is increasingly understanding the value she has in the eyes of God. When I married Kelly, she was a bit self-conscious (I’ve found that most young women are). It’s been a joy of mine to see her grow in that area – to the type of woman that knows she’s someone special. And speaking of value, it does not come through outwards adornment. I fell in love with a young lady who never questioned her need for attention. She was pure. Beautiful, and yet no need to flaunt it like so many college girls do. Her walk with the Lord is worthy of reflecting.
• This is my wife. My love. My lifelong partner.

It’s Advent Conspiracy season. Loving all, spending less, giving more, and worshipping fully. The idea was created by a few pastors and this conspiracy has changed lives – foreign and domestic. While it’s the season for giving, this shouldn’t be just a season. My life is not my own – and neither are my possessions or money. I’m looking forward to giving them up. And I’m anxious to make a difference this Christmas. For these past couple weeks I’ve been trying to figure out where that difference begins. Suddenly I had an idea. The joy in this is that it starts with my wife. *

I took the idea to Kelly; she was a wee bit apprehensive at first. Of course she would say she jumped on the idea with full enthusiasm. I love that woman! She’s still not used to me coming home with insane ideas, so I cut her some slack. **
Our issue, like so many others, is that we have too many clothes. We don’t wear probably half of what we have. Kelly’s wardrobe consists of clothing that doesn’t fit (since she’s a skinny foxy mama) and I have a plethora of clothes that I used to wear in high school. We’ve given a bit away throughout our marriage, but we continue to hold on to too much. You know how it is – you see that shirt that you never wear but you’re convinced that you’re going to wear it again soon. But you don’t.

That’s half of our closet.

The time has come to really give. As in sacrificially. Now we have ourselves a win-win situation…or should I say a win-win conspiracy. For every article of clothing she gives away, she gets $1. Same goes for me. The difference is that she gets to spend the money she “earns” on getting clothing she wants, and will actually wear. Where as I get to put the money I “earn” in a high interest savings account. For some sick reason that’s what excites me most. Kelly will enjoy several days of new outfits. Meanwhile I’ll get to log in to my online account everyday to see what interest I’m making. Fabulous.

And so the closet raid is on. The problem is, we don’t know where or who to donate it to. We’re talking everything from t-shirts to dress shirts and khakis to jeans. As well as tank tops (no, not mine) to sweaters to skirts. Now I need the help of you readers. Who is in need? Perhaps we won’t be the only ones giving. Let’s snowball this conspiracy.

I have to imagine this will spark some memories – and hopefully a number of solid comments. Today I want to talk about the art of weddings. This Thanksgiving weekend I had a wedding in St. Louis. I wouldn’t choose it as the ideal time to make the road trip, but glad we were able to meet up with family and support Kelly’s cousin. The wedding itself was something to remember.

Have you ever heard a speech in a foreign language? Years ago I attended a church service in China. What the pastor was saying made no sense, as I can only recognize so many Chinese words. So I just listened for key words like “Jesus”. My experience at this wedding felt similar. The 21 minute wedding (and that’s from the first bridesmaid walking in to the exiting of the couple) was officiated in the King James Version. I would have been lost had I not picked up on words like “marriage” and “I will”. *

Not your everyday wedding ceremony. This got me thinking – what are the greatest wedding moments I’ve been a part of.

• The pastor concluded his message by singing a hymn. When he finished a couple minutes later I didn’t know if I should laugh or hide, because yes, it was my wedding. (I appreciate the uniqueness that Pastor J.B. offered us)
• At the second wedding I officiated, the bride organized for the wedding party to exit the stage before the couple – which allowed for them to pull out golf clubs and hold them up forming a tunnel for the couple to walk through. The groom is a golf fanatic.
• Our friends from college took Romans 16:16 to a whole new level. It says “Greet each other with a holy kiss”. When the pastor told the groom to kiss the bride, it turned into a make out session.
• At Kelly and my wedding [Oct. 30], we jumped in a limousine with our wedding party and went up to a random house in Johnston to trick or treat. Seeing the faces on those parents was hilarious – it didn’t seem like they knew whether we were dressing the part or really coming from a wedding.
• I once caught two garters in back to back weddings. I was seven.
• At another Central grad’s wedding, the candle lighter – a young boy – was really struggling with getting the candles lit. Everyone in the church was feeling for this kid yet no one knew what to do. Finally (and I mean finally) the groom noticed and went up to assist.
• My first wedding I officiated my sister-in-laws wedding. For the most part I think I did a descent job. But that was after I forgot to seat the people at the beginning. I kept everyone standing a few minutes long. I think everyone was relieved when I caught my mistake.
• Then there’s the weather related issues
  • Attending a wedding in a lodge (no A/C) on a day when the weather spiked to mid-90’s.
  • Another outdoor ceremony wasn’t slowed but some rain – in fact I think the wedding was completely quicker because of it. Poor couple!
• Only been to one Catholic wedding. My knees are still sore from kneeling on the prayer bench for half the service. And by half the service – I’m talking about a marathon ceremony.
• Then there are those great wedding moments where the groom surprises the bride. On two separate occasions a friend of mine sang to her bride. On another, the groom washed his bride’s feet at the alter.

I’ve experienced many wonderful wedding moments. As I’m sure we all have. Time for you to share yours.

Cheers.

My parents will laugh if they find out I’m willing to admit I didn’t know it all going into parenting. After just one kid, and nearly ten months, I’ve discovered a few things about parenting I never saw coming.

1. An infants sleep habits at nine days is reflected still at nine months. Moral of the story, set guidelines from the start.

2. If your newborn is crying for hours on end, don’t rush him to the ER, just quit feeding him so often.

3. Decide, with your spouse, how many kids you want before having your first. I can understand why people have just one kid. It’s enough loving on one. Right now it would seem difficult to share my love for Judah with other miniature versions of me.

4. Asking family members, particularly parents, to babysit is a blessing not a curse. Apparently they actually want to change diapers. Perhaps that’s a little bit of a strong statement, but I’ve come to realize that it’s good to pass Judah around a little.

5. Don’t take infants on week-long youth ministry trips. Just not a smart idea. I don’t even need to explain why – just take my word for it.

6. People, particularly businesses, bend the rules for parents of infants. Take advantage of it. I love the line “I have a little baby in the backseat” – works every time!

7. Take video. Lots of it. Then save the video so it isn’t taped over by silly youth ministry skits. Whoops.

I do believe we’ve done a lot of great things as first time parents. Well, Kelly has. I’m apparently a slow learner. I’m not sure what to expect for year two of being a dad. Any tips?